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“But those shallow empty songs about suicide are patronizing. You’ve got to learn to be less lonely when I’m dead.”“It can’t silence all the voices in my head,” he replies. “I close my eyes, but I can’t make it go away. So you think I’ll be less lonely? I pray that I’m not lonely, when I’m dead.” He sighs, “When I’m dead I won’t feel any pain. And when I’m dead I won’t feel anything.”A smile comes over Cynthia’s face. “I know the songs you’re singing, saying nothing loud and clear. I’ve heard that song a thousand times. But your shallow empty lies about suicide are patronizing. You can never understand what I feel.”He looks hard at her, deep into her eyes. “Or do you think I’ll be less lonely when I’m dead? I can’t silence all the voice in my head. I close my eyes, but I can’t make it go away. Do you think I’ll be less lonely? I pray that I’m not lonely, when I’m dead...”Slowly, her trembling hand moves down her body and clutches the edges of the towel. She pulls it up her thighs at. I didn't understand why. Eventually it came out that she was pissed at the way I looked at the girl behind the bar, a beautiful Caribbean woman. I don't think I feasted my eyes on her gorgeous form more than the next man. But Chris had gone in to an old story between us. A while back I had an affair with a black woman which ended and I realised it was right for me to be with Chris. But she found out about it and every time a dark skinned woman was on TV the subject came up. Recently we had cleared a lot of stuff between us and things were going well. Not now however! For a while she gave me the third degree again about the physical qualities of the other woman. How did we kiss? How did her butt feel? What was the texture of her breasts and the shape and form of the nipples? How was it when I went down on her? How long did we fuck? All difficult things answer and keep in Chris's good books. Our drinks were consumed without noticing, and more!" I'm going to dance on my own!" she said..
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